Innocence Lost
by IckleSickle
Summary: A summer day starts innocently, but after finding Remus lying in an alleyway, things take a turn for the worse and secrets are made and revealed. MWPP, JP/RL oneshot slash, M for sexual content, hints at noncon and SB/RL


The forenoon air was still just a pale yellow and but starting to warm with the promise of summer sun as they stumbled through the streets of Hogsmeade in a happy dissarray. Sirius was trying out the Blistering Burdocks which he'd just purchased at Zonko's by flicking them at Peter who was trying to hide behind James. The messy haired boy just laughed at the two, trying to eat his tripple-chocolate ice-cream that was melting on his fingers and making them sticky. He already knew that the Burdocks's effects were painless and easily reversed. Peter however didn't, so the boy looked every bit the panicky rat he turned into, dodging and scampering around James as the other black-haird boy did his best to hit him in the face.

"How can you laugh Jim?" Peter squeeked, covering behind James which was quite hard as he was both taller and wider than the other boy. "I've seen the blisters those make, and you're on the line of fire too!"

"Oh, Jimmy here is immune", Sirius panted, his long black hair flying around him in crazy swirls as he bombarded the light-haired boy with the Burdocks. "We used the same spell on both of us so we could handle them easily."

Peter obviosly believed the lie, grunted in panic and almost pushed James over by grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him in front of between himself and Sirius. The ice cream fell from it's cone in the prosess.

"Hey! That's my favourite flavour!" he cried out and was turning to play-fight the others when something caught his eye in the alley they were just about to pass. He didn't have his glasses on so he squinted, than turned to the other two who where scuffling, Sirius trying to push Burdocks down Peter's shirt, the other boy shrieking in horror.

"Hey you guys, can you see what that is?"

"What?" Sirius left Peter alone as soon as he heard James call. It was always like that.

"That, down the alley. Leaning against the wall next to the garbage cans", James continued, pointing. Peter joined them, straightening his shirt and running a hand through his sandy hair.

"Looks like some dirty rags to me", Sirius shrugged and started turning away; James grabbed him by the arm.

"I think that's someone laying there. They might be hurt."

"More likely it's a drunk or a homeless person" Peter muttered uncomfortably. He was always happier to walk past possible trouble, although he didn't manage that very often because of Sirius and James' constant thrist for mischief.

"Honestly Jim, let's get something to drink, I'm dying here", Sirius moaned and pulled himself out of the other boy's grasp, turning away and taking a few strides, than turning back impatiently when he wasn't automaticly followed by the other two. He was obviosly annoyed as he saw James enter and walk slowly further down the alley.

The air in the alleway was thick with the smell of dust and garbage cans. The rays of sunshine didn't reach the floor of it, which made it seem like he'd walked into a cave or forest. James carefully closed in on the shape on the ground. He was still quite far away but saw it was a smallish person in a dirty sweater and jeans, slumped against the wall with their face hidden by the hood of the sweater and waves of medium brown hair.

"Hey, are you all right?" James asked in a loud voice. "Hey you, can you hear me?"

The figure didn't react, so James inched closer, followed by Sirius and Peter a few meters behind. He looked at the mud flecking the gray sweater and light blue jeans: besides the dirt the clothes seemed pretty new. The figure, a boy he was pretty sure, wasn't wearing any shoes on his pale, muddy feet. A brooding silence filled the alley. James gathered his courage and kneeled before the figure to shake him, but he froze in shock as he saw the boy's face.

"What's the matter?" Sirius whispered; even he was getting weirded out by the situation.

"I-it's Remus!" James finally managed to gasp, and at that Sirius was at his side, pushing him aside and shaking their friend franticly.

"Remus!" Sirius demanded, half panicky, half angrily. "Moony wake up for fuck's sake!"

For a while the werewolf looked like a ragdoll, his head flopping from side to side and arms slumping against the dirty ground again and again, but than he lifted his hands and started whimpering and pushing Sirius away. The black-haired teen immediately stopped the shaking but didn't let go of his friends shoulder's. Remus gazed at the shocked trio from under his tousled hair and the hood of his sweater. He's face had bruises and cuts on it, and his upper lip was split. Sirius was once again the first to get his voice back:

"Moony what the fuck has happened?"

"I-", Remus croaked, than cleared his throat for a bit, glancing away from them. "I think I got mugged."

James and Sirius looked at each other and frowned; Remus had always been a terrible liar, and he was showing clear signs.

"Weren't you supposed to be in France?" Peter piped in, making Remus stare at the ground more intently, clearly thinking of another lie.

"Never mind that, we have to get away from here", Sirius snapped. "Jim, let's get Remus to your place with the port key." James nodded in agreement but Remus looked panicked.

"No!" he said, a little too quickly. "I'll be fine now, I'll get home alright and -"

His sentence was cut short by a groan of pain when he tried to get up from the alley floor.

"Port key it is", James said emphaticly and he and Sirius grabbed Remus by under his arms, slowly lifting him. "Peter, get the key from my right pocket. It's the small rubber duck, but don't squeeze it, that's what activates it!"

Peter did as he was told, which was a bit awkward for all as he had to push his hand between Remus and James and then into the latter one's rather tight pant pocket. He managed the job anyway, and gave the duck to James.

"I-I'll just get home and inform your parents Moony", he suggested in a slightly unsure voice. Remus leaned heavily against Sirius but managed to lift his head with amazingly quickly at this.

"No. My parents aren't home yet."

"Oh", the blonde boy sighed, a bit taken aback.

"Just fuck off Pete, we'll call you if we need anything", Sirius snapped in his usual manner and with that Peter flipped him the finger and was stomping off away from the alley, probably to floo himself home from some nearby cafe or something. James tried to throw him an apologetic smile but wasn't sure if the blonde boy saw this.

"Now let's get you out of here", James muttered and squeezed the duck.

* * *

They'd managed to get Remus to James' bedroom and bed with some difficulty: despite his assurances that he'd be fine on his own the brunette couldn't even stay upright properly. Sirius was cursing the people who'd done this to his friend and the whole process of carrying him, and demanding to know what they had looked like so he could "find them and rip their throats out". Typical Sirius, but James was being observant and saw that Remus wasn't keeping his mouth shut just because of the pain.

"Did you recognize them?" Sirius demanded for the millionth time. "I swear I'll kill them, no-one touches a friend of a Black, no one -"

James saw Remus squeeze his eyes shut and his cracked lips move silently; he was making a list of something, a clear sign of him being distressed and wanting to escape the situation.

"Could the young master Black come off his high horse for a while and assess the situation with some real insight?" he blurted. Sirius flipped him the bird but ceased his pacing and ranting. "Could you go get the small blue vial from my the medical cabinet in my parents' bathroom?"

Sirius strode out of the room without a word, his long black hair billowing behind him. He was truly a man on a mission, he always was, be it a kitchen raid or saving his friend from an alley.

Remus's lips had stopped moving when James looked at him again. In the sunny room his bruises looked even starker. The dried mud was starting to rub on his quidditch themed beadspread.

"We have to get you out of those clothes", he told the other boy who immediatly opened his eyes and shook his head.

"No! Not while -"

"Remus, you're getting dirt everywhere and -"

"JIM!" Sirius bellowed from the other room. "Jiiiim, I found the vial! It's EMPTY!" he shouted like he was at the far end of Grimmauld Place and not two doors down the hall.

"OKAY!" James answered just as loudly, just to annoy him. "GO – TO – THE – _APO-THE-CA-RY_! THERE – IS – A – PRECRIPTION CHARM – ON THE BOTTLE! THEY SHOULD FILL IT AUTOMATICLY!"

He knew this not to be true, but he was trying buy some alone time with Remus so the werewolf could relax and maybe even open up a bit.

"OKAY!" Sirius yelled and then there was quick thumps heard as he moved down the stairs and a swoosh as he flooed himself away from the living room.

James turned to Remus, who had turned his head away from him and was again muttering under his breath.

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

Remus didn't answer but ceased the muttering. James sat down next to him. He saw tears glimmer in his friend's green-brown eyes.

"You weren't mugged, were you." No answer. "Was it a hate crime? Did someone find out you're a werewolf?"

No answer still, but James knew he'd guessed right, so he decided not to pressure anymore. He absentmindedly scraped some mud of Remus' sweater with his fingernail.

"We really have to get these off you. I'll borrow you mine, were about the same built."

Remus still didn't say anything. He actually seemed as lifeless as in the alley, but didn't resist when James pulled him to a sitting position and started removing his sweater. There was a white sleeveless shirt under the it, even dirtier than the sweater and ripped at the neckline. There were bruises on Remus' tan arms too, like someone had squeezed them, hard. James started pulling at the shirt, but Remus stopped him. The arms were smeared with mud.

"Don't", he simply said. His voice sounded hollow.

"You have to change our of these. And clean yourself up. Honestly, you're dirtier than Padfoot after he's been let to roam in the rain!"

To his horror James saw tears run down Remus' still expressionless face. There was something really wrong, he'd never seen him cry, not even after full moons when he'd broken bones, or after he got the message that Sirius had sent Snape down the tunnel. Remus just didn't cry.

"Moony?"

"Yeah, I have to get cleaned up." Hollow words, scary words. Remus shakily stood up, grabbing James for support: there was a lot of greyish brown dust on the bedspread where he'd lain. The werewolf stumbled towards the small bathroom accompanying James' room, and got to there with the help of his friend. There wasn't really space for both of them, so when Remus muttered,

"Do you mind?"

James just backed away and pushed the door half shut. He wasn't comfortable enough to let the werewolf completely on his own though, it was clear the other boy was still hesitant on his legs. The black-haired youth backed to his bed and sat down. Flecks of dust puffed around him and he realized there was no use leaving the bed spread on; it had to be washed too. So he pulled it off and folded it as neatly as a 16-year-old teenage boy usually folds anything, and stuffed the bundle in the wicker laundry basket beside his door. He then moved his weight from one foot to another for a while, pondering what to do next, before he went to his drawer and started pulling out some clothes that would fit Remus. The other boy was a bit taller than him, but not much bigger otherwise, so he settled on a garish Bowie t-shirt he'd gotten from Sirius (rebelling by loving anything muggle) and a pair of dark red pyjama bottoms, since it seemed that the other boy was in no condition to leave anytime soon.

He heard the shower being turned on in the bathroom and thought he'd slip in and replace Remus' dirty clothes with the ones he'd picked out. He slid the door open and tip-toed in, placed the clean shirt and pj-bottom on the toilet seat cover, then crouched to gather the dirty ones from the floor. There was no point trying to repair the ripped white shirt, it was nothing special, but he'd throw the jeans in the laundry; he knew Remus didn't have many clothes and these seemed pretty new. He picked them up and the other boy's underpants slipped from the pant leg. Something on the worn blue fabric made James pause. He'd lived with other boys in the dormitory for six years now, so dirty underwear was nothing new to him, but there was something sinister about the stains on these ones, at they made his throat tighten and heart plummet to the pit of his stomach. He slowly picked them up and was still holding them as Remus peeked from behind the striped showercurtain, an annoyed look on his face.

"James would just fuck off and -"

He froze when he saw the underwear. His wet hair clinged to his battered face in dark wisps. The look of annoyance changed to one of pain and desparation. The sound of beating water seemed deafening all of a sudden.

"You have blood on your underwear", James stated blankly. "Either you've started menstruating or you definetly weren't just mugged."

The joke had no humour in it. Even with the water James could've sworn that Remus had tears in his eyes again. When Remus didn't move James crossed the short distance between them and yanked the shower curtain two the side, ripping it from a couple of it's loops. He stared at the naked body of his friend, a body he'd seen battered after so many fullmoons they'd spent with him in their animal forms. He was still shocked.

It wasn't like he was covered in bruises or welts, but the type of bruising was what made James feel sick. There were visible fingerprints on his hands and thighs where someone had held him down. He had bitemarks on the flesh at his shoulder, and his knees were pretty badly scraped, like he'd fallen down or tried to get up on a hard, rough surface. Remus had lowered his head and was squeezing his hands in fists so tight that his knuckles were white. His shoulders shook silently, with silent sobs or just plain humiliation, James wasn't sure.

"I think there's some healing potions in the medical cabinet. You dry yourself up and I'll be right back."

With that he turned away and left the bathroom, walking out to the hall and into the master bath at the end of the hall. Behind him he heard the water being turned off. He flicked the light on and opened the white metal cabinet adorned by a red cross, and read through the labels. Finally he chose one bottle and one jar from it's shelves before closing the door and returning to his room, where Remus sat on the edge of his bed, still hanging his head, now with a fluffy towel wrapped around his torso. Now that his skin was clean the bruises stood out starkly against the light tan he had. James sat besides him and offered the bottle of Instant PainRelief -potion, which the werewolf took without lifting his gaze. After a while the dark haired boy cleared his throat.

"You know, it's probably gonna work better if you take the top off and drink some -"

"I'm a dirty faggot whore and deserve the pain" Remus interrupted with a stern and harsh voice that made James loose his focus completely. He just stared at the other boy, his split lip and the tip of his nose. The rest of his face was hidden under the mess of towel dried hair. After a moment of heavy silence the werewolf unscrewed the bottle and lifted it to his mouth, taking a big swig.

"So why aren't you at France like you told us you'd be?" James asked tentatively when Remus had lowered the bottle and started toying with it. He wasn't sure if the werewolf was going to answer him when the silence continued for a while.

"I came back on Sunday", he finally said, his voice now quiet and calm. "I didn't call you guys... I didn't call you straight away 'cause I needed some time to myself."

Somewhere under the concern for his friend James felt slightly offended. It wasn't that he thought couple of days without seeing each other was terrible, but the thought of Remus intendedly staying away from them felt bad. He was so used to Peter following him everywhere all the time and he'd been glued to Sirius by the hip for most of his life, and from the day they'd figured out Remus' condition he'd assumed he was just as much part of their tightly knit group. Even though he didn't approve of all their pranks, and was a prefect, he was still a Marauder.

"You could've called", James said with a hint of accusation in his voice.

"You would've wanted to meet up. I had things to do", Remus answered, fingering the bottle uneasily.

"What things? And more importantly, how did you end up in an alley in the middle of Hogsmeade?"

Remus sighed again, clearly thinking of what to say. He seemed to settle on telling the truth since his shoulders slumped and his voice was even, if a bit defeated, when he spoke.

"I met someone. We went partying." The werewolf paused, lifted his face toward the ceiling so James could see the intent look in his eyes, and how his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed before continuing.

"We got into an argument and he kind of roughed me up. The bouncer threw us out."

"Who was he?" James demanded. "Moony if you know the guy who did this to you you have to report it."

"He didn't do this. He just, he got angry and slapped me and then I was running away. He just shouted after me and I thought I'd go home, but then I, I." The werewolf had been speaking more rapidly toward the end, but now he stopped again, seemingly unable to continue. James wanted to ask him, but sensed that pressure would only make the other boy stop talking altogether.

"I ran into some men. From the bar, actually, they'd seen me been thrown out so I think they might have followed me. But one of them was in front of me suddenly, so he must have apparated, and two were behind me." Remus sounded a bit drowsy; maybe it was the potion, or maybe he was just reliving the moment. James still didn't dare to speak. He was squeezing the glass jar in his hand without noticing it.

"They asked me if I wanted to have some fun. I told them to piss off and tried to walk past them."

"_What's the matter doll, sad your boyfriend bitchslapped you?_" Remus drawled, obviosly mimicking one of the men. "They wouldn't let me pass. There was no-one around." His voice was hollow once again. "One of them grabbed me before could run. I panicked, but when I yelled and the third one, he hit me in the stomach and told me to shut up. Told me to _shut up, Lupin._"

"They _knew_ you?" James gasped. "Did you recognize them?"

Remus glanced at him with pain and shame shadowing his eyes.

"I think the one to call me by my name left Hogwarts a few years back. He recognized me because, well, because -"

"Because you're a Marauder for sure", James blurted out. Still the pained eyes.

"No, Prongs... I think he recognized because I... Shit. Shit, shit, shit shit shit shit", the werewolf suddendly cursed between his teeth, balling James' covers in his hands and stared at the ceiling again.

"You hurting still?" the black-haired boy quickly asked. Remus didn't instantly reply and continued staring upwards.

"He knew me because I was turning tricks back then."

There was a pregnant pause.

"You what?" James asked as calmly as he could. Surely he'd heard wrong.

"You know, turning tricks. Nothing major, just wanking people off or giving the odd blow-job to get some cigarettes or Fire Whiskey."

"You didn't drink back then", James said like that was the thing that bothered him the most about the werewolf's statement.

"Oh yes I did, just not with you", Remus smiled. It was a sad, broken smile that cracked his upper lip again, making it bleed a bit of bright red to his otherwise pale lips. "When you guys drank I had to make sure you were safe. Sometimes I had to get away from it all, so I got the booze from older students, and drank it in secret. I mostly hid it at the Shack, got drunk during the full moons. You weren't around yet, and it was. Well you know how it was."

James let it all sink in for a while. He just couldn't see it. Bookish Remus offering his services to older students. To _male_ students. Not Remus. Sirius maybe, who was always playing with fire and flamboyantly declaring free love and worshipping male pop stars who kissed each other on stage, Sirius with his long black tresses and lashes. But Remus was so. So asexual. James hadn't even known he was interested in boys, but when he thought about it, he hadn't had much interest in girls either. The couple of girls that had asked him out so far had gently but firmly been turned down. James had always thought it was because of the whole werewolf thing, but here he was, trying to envision Remus having sex with older boys at the tender age of 14. The idea was disturbing and somehow exciting at the time, a thought James quickly pushed from his mind.

"You could've gotten the booze and cigs from us."

"You would've wanted to drink with me, and Sirius smoked like a chimney back then and would've snapped my neck if I'd gotten to his stash. And to be honest, in a sick way I enjoyed the attention", Remus stated. He was looking at his hands again, looking like the calm, collected Remus he usually was.

"How did you. I mean. How did it start?"

"Not that it really matters but a sixth year boy asked me out. When I told him no he asked if wanted to have sex, and when I again told him no he offered me a bottle of whiskey for a hand-job. That seemed like a good enough deal. We had a brief ...fling, and he told someone and a couple of other students made similiar propositions. To be honest I probably had a bigger stash of ciggies than Pads because I didn't smoke as much as him, so I felt a bit ashamed when I bummed from him but I thought I had to keep up appearances."

Remus fell silent. James looked at him with a whole new set of eyes for a while without talking.

"Those bites on your shoulder look pretty bad, and the scrapes on your knees could use some attention too. Mum always puts this on cuts, it makes them heal quicker and hurt less." He held the jar up before popping the lid off and sticking his fingers in the grayish goo. Remus didn't have time to object before he was rubbing the salve on his shoulder, which made the other boy wince and than stay still.

"I can do it my self", the werewolf hissed through his teeth; James knew the salve stung like a bitch before taking effect.

"It's easier for me to reach them, and besides I already started", the other boy replied with the brisk manner of someone used to taking care of others. They fell silent, Remus trying not to flinch away or whimper every time his friend moved to a new cut in his skin, and James trying to be quick and throrough with his motions at the same time.

Finally, what seemed like an eternity, James was done with rubbing the salve on his friends scraped up knees. He got up from his kneeling position and peered at the werewolf, who had visibly relaxed and closed his eyes. James absent-mindedly brushed a bit of the salve on the cut on his friend's lips, making the dark eyes open immediately. A tense moment passed before James breathed:

"I think we're all done now, or are there any cuts I missed?"

"Just – I mean, no, that's all", Remus stuttered. James frowned but felt a surge of heat flare up his neck as he blushed in horrified realization. He pushed the jar into Remus' hand who quickly got up, almost knocking the dark-haired teen over and hurried himself to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it. James sat down on the bed heavily and buried his face hands, trying not to think about what had just happened. He wasn't sure how much time passed before he came aware of the sounds coming from the bathroom: low whimpers, followed by some muffled gasping. His friend was crying. He got up and moved to the door. He could hear some quiet sobs and a few hickups now.

"Moony." No answer, the hickups continued. "Moony, are you alright?"

When he got no answer to that either he thought 'fuck it' and muttered "Alohomora." He pulled the door open and froze at what he saw.

Remus was leaning against the tiled wall straight in front of him, his back to the door. He was naked, his legs were spread. The werewolf hung his head between his hands that were pushing against the white tiles, and the muscles of his back convulsed. The jar of salve was open on the edge of the sink, half empty; James saw salve smeared on the tiles below Remus' right hand, and some on his buttocks. The other boy looked almost wanton in this position, and again the idea of Remus with the older boys came to him, giving him a jolt. He pushed it aside more aggressively than before, reminded himself angrily that the other boy was in pain and needed help.

"I can't do it", Remus whimpered, almost to himself. "It hurts too much, I can't bloody do it."

"Come back to the bed", James told him. Remus shook his head and sobbed more audibly.

James picked the towel that was thrown on the toilet seat and wrapped it around his friend's trembling shoulders.

"Come back to bed or I'll get Sirius to come back and hold you down while I call your parents."

With that Remus ceased sobbing, and slowly lifted his left hand to grab the towel and drape it more securely on his shoulders. Still hanging his head he turned to James but pushed past him without lifting his head. James grabbed the salve and returned yet again to his room, where the werewolf had returned to the bed and looked almost identical to how he had before, only the towel was on his shoulders and his messy hair was almost dry now.

"Lay down", James told the other boy, which made the werewolf shake his head again. "I _will_ send for Sirius if necessary, you know?"

Remus tentatively lay down on his side, trying to wrap the towel around himself like a blanket. James sighed and sat down at the foot of the bed.

"On your back. Or stomach, I'm not sure which way is easier."

"Please don't James. Please. Just don't."

"I'm gonna help you wether you like it or not. Even if I have to petrify you, and then there's gonna be a ton of Ministry officers here and I'll get in trouble and this is gonna get done by some medical staff you don't even know."

James knew he wasn't playing fair, but he never did if bending the rules was necessary to help his loved ones. And sometimes in Quidditch. All is fair in love and war.

Slowly the brown-haired teen turned onto his stomach. James hesitated for a bit but than climbed to staddle the other boys bare legs with the jar in his left hand. Remus tensed and buried his face into James' pillow, and shivered as the other boy pulled the towel aside.

"It's gonna hurt, but only for a while", James said, trying to sound calming but his voice broke in the middle of the sentence. He had no idea why he was doing this, he should just force Remus to see a doctor or a nurse. 'He's in pain. He needs me', he told himself over and over again as he dipped his index finger in the salve. He than placed the finger at the start of the werewolf's cleft, and started sliding it down, pushing and searching. He found what he was looking for but Remus groaned and tensed all his muscles, making it impossible for James to continue.

"I can't reach", James muttered. "You'll have to, I mean..." When the words didn't come to him he just grabbed his friend's hips and yanked him so that he had his ass up in the air. Then he took more salve and pushed his finger straight to the puckered hole, rubbing around it. Remus whimpered and tensed, but James kept one hand at his hip so that the brunette would stay in place. After a while he felt pretty sure the pain was subsiding, and trying not to think about it too much he took more salve and continued the rubbing, now tentatively pushing against the ring of muscle.

"No!" Remus gasped, but James was already pushing his finger in, and the burning salve made Remus yelp and then start cursing in a high-pitched voice against the pillow. James pushed the finger all the way in, then drew it back and at an impulse pushed it back in again. He then withrew the digit completely, covered it with more salve and repeated the motions, all the while trying to think of other things, about Quidditch and the ice cream he'd eaten earlier, about Lily Evan's flame red hair, anything but the fact that he had his finger up one of his best friends' ass. Remus slowly grew still and silent, but didn't argue when James dipped his fingers in the jar for the third time and pushed in once again, now adding a second finger. Thinking of Evans didn't help much anymore, and when Remus moaned it stopped working altogether. James paused the rubbing.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked nonchalantly, even though he knew that wasn't it. Remus trembled under his hands, and the feeling of power was immense. Having another person on their knees, trembling and naked in front of you...

"No, you can stop no-OW!" the werewolf groaned the last part as the black-haired boy pushed again at the spot that he had before. And again. Remus moaned and started getting on his hands and knees, and James pulled his fingers out, grabbing the other boy and half-turning, half wrestling him onto his back. Remus had a wild look in his dark eyes, now flecked with the gold of the wolf as they sometimes did when he was feeling something intense.

"I told you to sto-" he started darkly, but James interrupted him by climbing on top of him and crushing his lips against the other boy's. It wasn't a sweet kiss, James wasn't even sure if it was a kiss at all; they just stayed there without moving. Even so he felt his jeans starting to feel tight at his crotch as he tasted the menthol of the salve and the dried blood on the werewolf's lips, and when he pulled away and glanced down between them he saw he wasn't the only one affected. Remus' cock was half-erect, pulsating as he stared at it like he never had before any other man. Lust fogged his mind and without thinking he drawled:

"There's half a bottle of firewhiskey in my parents' liqour cabinet and I'm sure Sirius has stashed some cigorettes here somewhere. Is that enough for a blowjob?"

The werewolf struck him so hard and quick he almost didn't see it coming, and he actually saw stars for a split second. The pain somehow just made him want this more.

"Prongs, I'm so sorry!" the werewolf gasped, clearly blaming himself for loosing control although James was the one to blame.

"Hit me again, I deserve it. I want you to", James told him, and Remus shook his head in horror. "Fine, I'll just have to try to push you over the edge again. I'll throw in ten galleons. Now will you suck me off?"

This time the brunette didn't hit him, but sat up and grabbed him by his chin, hissing in a low voice that sent shivers down the other boy's spine.

"You're playing with fire James. You sure you want to do that with a werewolf?" James could only nod. The roles were reversed but he found himself turned on none the less.

"Okay, I'll give you your blowjob, Potter", Remus told him with a voice so dark and smooth that it made James think of black silk. "If you'll let me fuck you afterwards."

The werewolf might've thought that this would make James back off, but the black-haired teen was ready to do just about anything at this point. So he leaned in again, and kissed Remus more softly this time.

"A kiss to seal the deal" he said when he pulled back, then layed down next to the brunette and started unbuttoning his fly. The werewolf watched him for a while before swatting his fingers away from his crotch and continuing the task himself. When done he yanked James' jeans and underwear down, finally freeing his erection. James pushed himself in a half-sitting position, his heart thumping as the werewolf croached over him, sniffling and then speaking in the same low and silky voice.

"Well well, what have we here?" James was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, and even more so as his friend pushed his face against the black curls at the base of his cock and took in a deep breath.

"You smell musky, but sweet at the same time", Remus muttered against his groin. "Like a _virgin_."

A flicker of tongue against his cock made James jump as if he'd been hit again. Remus chuckled darkly before giving the member a good swipe of his warm, wet tongue, starting at the bottom but ending torturously close before the throbbing head. He than breathed on the wet spot, making the black-haired boy shiver, and then licked it again, and again, like a thick and long lollipop he was truly savouring. When the werewolf finally got to the tip he sucked it into his mouth, making James' arms fail him so that he flopped onto his back. To his dismay the warm mouth soon left him.

"Oh, definetly a virgin", Remus whispered.

James opened his mouth to say something but all words were swept away by a gasp that escaped him when the werewolf wrapped nimble fingers around his shaft and pumped it slowly, again twirling his hot wet tongue against the tip of it. He sucked in a breath with great difficulty and gasped again as his friend enfulged his length in the moist cavern of his mouth, and all he could do was marvel at how talented that mouth was, sucking and licking and gently scraping teeth against him, never hurting, just giving him a jolt now and then. When he felt his climax growing closer he felt a tiny bit of dissappointment at how quickly it was over, but then the fingers squeezed the base of his cock and the mouth retreated. James hesitantly lifted himself so that he could see the other boy. Remus' face was hidden by his wavy hair.

"Is everything alright?" James whispered, trying to sound calm even when close to the edge. The werewolf slowly lifted his head and James was trasfixed by his smile, a wicked, slick, red expression. White teeth gleamed dangerously, and eyes glimmered with the yellow of the wolf.

"Oh no, nothing's wrong Jim", Remus breathed, making James shudder. "but if we're going to go through with the deal, I suggest you get on your hands and knees. It feels much better before you've come."

"You said you only gave blowjobs", James gasped as the hand moved again teasingly, the pressure making it impossible for him to reach his highpoint.

"To the boys who gave me goods, yeah, but that doesn't mean there hasn't been some more ...special." The werewolf whispered this more hesitantly, and James didn't dare to push it. Instead he cleared his throat and sat up.

"So... on my hands and knees?" he said simply, wrapping on arm around Remus' neck and pulling the other boy closer so that their faces were inches apart.

"Yeah", Remus breathed again, softer this time, and looked the other boy straight in the eyes. "If you really want to."

The black-haired boy tried not to think about it too much when he nodded, brushed his lips against Remus' and then slowly turned to face away and aranged himself in a similiar position Remus had been before. His heart thumped loudly in his cheast as he heard the rustling of fabric and felt the mattress dip behind him when the other boy moved, but all the while he felt his erection strain close to his stomach. Finally Remus broke the silence that had stretched for a while.

"I'm gonna touch you now."

Even with the warning the blackhaired boy jumped a bit when slender fingers smoothed over the small of his back and then to his buttocks, spreading them apart. It was hard to stay relaxed when the fingers where followed by that oh-so-talented tongue, which dipped into his cleft and searched, much like his own fingers with Remus, for the little puckered opening. When it found it's target the darkerhaired boy felt both shame and lust flush his body hot, the feeling of being licked and prodded so intimately making the moment dirty and pleasurable at the same time. He moaned into his pillow when Remus penetrated the tight ring of muscle with his tongue, reaching as deep as he could. After what felt like an eternity of hot flesh on flesh he pulled both his mouth and hands away, and James wondered what was gonna happen next until he heard the unscrewing of the jar lid.

"Ah!" he jolted as he felt a finger push past the ring of muscle, spreading a cool feeling inside him. It took a while for him to realize the werewolf was using the healing cream as a lubricant. He fought hard to get adjusted to the feeling of getting penetrated, the feeling he knew he'd caused the other boy to feel just moments ago.

"Just relax..." the other boy murmured and pushed deeper, his digit seeking.

James shivered again, braising himself and pushed himself slighty back onto the finger. After a while the intrusion strarted to feel kind of good, and the tingling of the healing lotion added to being stretched. Just as he was about to ask for more, the werewolf hit a spot in him that made him gasp and jolt with white hot pleasure, his hands buckling a little.

"Good", Remus murmured and added another finger, rending the other boy speechless yet again so he just moaned. The fingers scissored and stretched him before finally pulling away, and James felt a tinge of panic when the mattress dipped again as Remus crawled closer, taking hold of his hips again.

"Ready?" the brunette asked, apparently rhetoricly again since he started slowly pushing before getting an answer. The head of his leaking cock strained against the blackhaired youths entering and it felt impossible that it would ever fit, and James was just about to cancel their deal as he felt the himself yield and take a bit of the member inside him. The feeling was so much more intense, so much more uncomfortable but _pleasurable_ at the same time than anything he'd ever felt before that he pushed back instinctively. It was Remus' turn to gasp.

"Slow down", the werewolf whispered in a strained voice and squeezed the blackhaired boy's hips harder, making it impossible for James to impale himself more. "You're gonna ...hurt yourself."

"More like make you cum", James chuckled breathlessly and Remus groaned and pushed in a full inch, making them both moan and shudder. From then on the boys were silent apart from laboured breathing as the werewolf slowly worked his way deeper to the tight canal of his friend until his shaft was sheathed in it completely. The brunette took a deep, shuddering breath before starting to slowly pull away and then push back, bending over James and snaking his arms around him, pulling him flush against himself. Remus' left hand closed around James' cock and started pumping as he picked up his speed, trying hard to listen to the other boys body as he got used to the new sensations.

James cursed violently as Remus' cock brushed against the same spot inside him as his fingers had before. The werewolf angled himself better so that he was constantly rubbing in just the right way, making James squirm and moan. He allowed himself to loose himself in the pleasure too. Skin rubbed against hot, sweaty skin as the boys lost themselves in the carnal rythm, both making desperate sounds and trying to keep from tumbling over the edge of pleasure too quickly.

It didn't take long however for them both to be near completion. Remus' nimble fingers were working on James hard on and slipping from it to fondle his tightening balls occasionly as he pushed against his prostate again and again, making the other boy whimper helplessly.

"Moony, I'm gonna -"

But that was all he got out of himself before his climax rendered him speechless and sightless for a moment before he slumped against his mattress, taking the werewolf down with him. It took a moment for Remus to get his hands from under his friends limp body, but then he pulled out gently and rolled over, finishing himself off by the same, cum-sticky hand that had been on James a moment before. They stayed like that for a while, James on his stomach and Remus on his back next to him, both trying to get their breaths back and come to terms with the situation. Remus was the first to sit up. He threw his feet over the edge of the bed, turning his back to James and swiping his hand on his sheets in the process.

"How about that whiskey, James?" he murmured, all the cockiness, all the sex talk just a distant memory. James nodded dumbly before realizing his friend couldn't see him. He cleared his throat and hoped he sounded a bit more reassured.

"I'll go get it", he managed to mumble, having no luck with sounding sure of himself at all. He stumbled out of the bed with a mild twinge of pain, grabbed his clothes and stumbled out of the room. He pulled his pants and shirt on in the hall before gingerly going down the stairs, feeling the evidence of what had just happened on every step. He felt the embarrassement and confusion flush himself again, and he crossed the living room to the liqour cabinet he tried to push the feelings aside. The black-haired boy tried not to think about what he had said to Remus, what he had done, tried not to think about how the other boy had felt and when this all failed he felt tears sting his eyes. He glared at the Fire Whiskey like the beverage was to blame when a 'swoosh' from the fireplace made him jump. To his horror Sirius stumbled out of the flames and into the room, holding the blue vial in his hand.

"There was no fucking prescription charm -" he started at James angrily but stopped dead on his track when he saw the other boy's face. "What's wrong? Is it Moony?" He started for the stairs when he didn't get an answer and James panicked.

"Seer, don't!" He tried to think of a lie when the other boy turned to him quizzickly. "He's sleeping. He's alright. I mean -" his breath hitched as flashes of the werewolf's bruises and story flooded his mind, combining with the shame of their actions after that and it came too much. The tears started falling and he slumped in a near by armchair, hiding his face in the hand that wasn't holding the liquour bottle. Sirius was by his side instantly, like the loyal dog he was.

"Tell me", he demanded.

"He was r-", James struggled with the word. "The men, they, they didn't just beat him up, they -", he tried but paused again. He didn't realize that his silence spoke louder than words until he saw Sirius' anguished face as the other boy slumped to the floor.

"He's gonna be okay", James instantly told him, even if he didn't know if that was true. He felt horrible for Sirius and even worse for being kind of relieved he had an excuse for not going back upstairs to Remus. Sirius just shook his head and tears welled up in his eyes too.

"He's been through so much" he whimpered. James sushed him in what he hoped to be a soothing way and unscrewed the bottle. He took a swig and then offered it to his friend, who willingly took it. They exchanged the bottle back and forth for a long time, both stairing at the stairs but not daring to say anything.

"We should go up there", Sirius finally slurred, his voice thick with alcohol and emotion. They stumbled up and leaned on each other for both emotional and physical support, drunkenly making their way up the stairs. James' heart thumped almost painfully as he pushed the door open and walked in the darkened room.

"Moony?" Sirius whispered inquisitively. There was no answer so they James took a few steps forward and clicked on his nightlight, and in the dim light he saw Remus' slight shape tucked in his bed. He breathed out in relief; all the signs of their previous escapades had dissappeared, the werewolf had even opened the window slightly so the air in the room was fresh.

Sirius tiptoed to his side and bend over the sleeping werewolf, who had his back to them. The bitemarks were healing but still visible on his bared shoulder.

"Bastards", Sirius breathed and gingerly sat on the mattress. James followed suit and took another swig from the nearly empty bottle. They fell silent for a moment.

"I have to tell you something", Sirius whispered but pain was still evident in his quiet voice. "I never told because it was over before it really started, because I fucked it all up."

James turned his head towards his friend in a drunken daze. It was rare for Sirius to sound this hesitant and vulnerable.

"Before the, the Prank", Sirius' whispers were hard to make out since he was also slurring pretty badly. "I was, I mean, we had a, a thing." He gestured towards the sleeping figure behind them. James gaped at him but still managed to lift the bottle to his lips.

"I wanted to tell you!" Sirius misinterpreted his silence. James shooshed him and pushed the bottle to his friend's hands. "Remus was afraid..."

"Someone special", James muttered, remembering what Remus had said.

"He is. I think I love him, Jim", he whimpered and buried his head in his hands. "And I'll never get him back, not after the Prank, and after this, he's probably never gonna let anyone touch himself after what he's been through..." The youth started to sob.

"Shh", James murmured and rubbed soothing circles on the crying boys back, guilt and sorrow weighing his heart.

"It's gonna be alright", he lied and tried not to think how fucked up it all was, what Remus had done at 14, what had been done to Remus, how fucked up it was to comfort his friend on the bed he'd had sex with Remus not an hour earlier, tried not to think at all as the night and their innocence slipped further and further away...


End file.
